Patient: Where the fuck am I?
Me: Hospital. You took too much booze, weed and 14 Zanex tablets.
Friends: Yeah, man, you passed out n shit. You were deranged!
Patient: I'm hospitalised! How fucking cool is that! where are my fucking clothes?
Me: Stop swearing. There are other people here that don't like to hear that.
Patient: They're old, no-one cares. Where are my clothes?
Me: Yes well at least they are continent.
Me: YOU PISSED YOURSELF.